The best family is the one that accepts you just the way you are.

The very first time I met Papa Nate, he told us to always put "us" first; before our jobs, before our kids, before our families, before the bills, before everything. Us first. It's strange to look back and wonder when we stopped doing that. It's even stranger to try to figure out how to get back into the habit of doing it again.

Papa Nate used to tell us not to worry about what our families had to say, that no problem was too big for us to solve as long as we have each other. He used to remind us that no one knows our children better than we do and that the final word is ours, regardless of anyone or anything else. He used to congratulate us on the tough decisions. He was so proud of how spirited and independent we are.

My grandfathers died right around the time I became school age. I never had that kind of wisdom to turn to until I had Papa Nate. I've been thinking about him a lot lately. What would he say? Would he be upset? Disappointed? Worried? Would he offer advice? Or would he simply tell us how much he loves us and encourage us to do whatever was best for us? I think he'd be sad, but hopeful. I think he'd call every few days to check up on us. I think he would love us no matter what and I also think he'd encourage us to be and do the best we can, because that's just the way he was.

Sometimes it's so hard not being able to go him for support. He always knew exactly what to say. I desperately miss our conversations. I miss his wit and his humor. I miss his love and guidance. It was evident in every conversation that he was proud to call me his granddaughter, but I hope he knew how proud I was (and still am) to call him Papa.