I've made it. I'm officially middle-aged. I've been through so much in my life and though the process was hard, the rewards are plentiful. I'm happy. I'm healthy. I have fantastic memories of all my years.
But it's time I let you all in on my little secret.
Though I've strived to be true to myself, I haven't exactly been true to all of you. It's difficult to find your way through this life and to discover who you are and what it all means. I've been lucky in that regard, but most of you know very little of that process and what it has meant for me.
So, here it is: I'm finally coming out, as a gift to myself on my birthday.
1. I'm bisexual.
Yes, I've had mostly heterosexual romantic relationships (including 2 marriages, which were in no way affected by my sexual orientation), but I've been equally attracted to women for almost as long as I can remember--certainly before I reached puberty. I've accepted this, despite my upbringing, as a part of who I am. I can't change it and I wouldn't want to, even if I could.
2. I'm an atheist.
I hope it can be understood that this decision has brought a great deal of peace and happiness to my life. I have a deep respect for everyone's chosen beliefs and I have no desire to convince anyone otherwise; I hope you will hold me in the same regard. That said, it was a deeply trying and insightful process that led me to arrive at the end of my faith. It was difficult, even painful at times, but I am confident in my path and I've never felt more connected with those around me, nor as capable in my own decision-making, as I have since allowing my moral compass to be guided by the good inherently inside me and the desire to leave the world a better place than I arrived in.
3. I will never apologize for being me, whatever I may do or become.
My hair has been all colors of the rainbow. I have piercings and tattoos. I've made good decisions that have yielded bad results and I've made poor decisions that I've been lucky to survive. I have a story for every scar. We all have to make our way in this world by the sweat of our own brows. We all suffer our own consequences. I love my life. It is rich, and vibrant, and so very fulfilling. I learn so much every day, in everything I do. I strive for better, but rejoice in all this life has brought me. This is all I want from my life and my only wish is that everyone can have as much satisfaction in their lives.
I love all of you so much. You've each helped to shape who I am throughout my life and now, here I am: the product of all your interactions with me. We've shared so much in my short time on this earth and I can't wait to experience the next 35 years.
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